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Saint Virginia is a sustainable textile design company led by creative director Amy Hindman, natural dyer, breast cancer survivor, health advocate, and writer. God, healing, and cotton are at the heart of everything that happens around here.  

A percentage of proceeds is donated to Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered to support women and families affected by hereditary breast, ovarian, and related cancers.

Heartbreak and Hangups

My one moment of desperation so far was on the second night after I found out. I cried so hard when we were in bed. Me, Jon, NJ – she sleeps with us. I know, I know: "You'll never get her out of your bed...You're really in for it now...Your marriage will suffer...She needs more independence..." I've heard it all, trust me. But, the truth is, I love that she snuggles with us in bed all night long. And, Jon does too. I don't think it will last forever. In fact, I know it won't. And, I'm going to savor it for all its worth. I burst into tears this particular night, humbled by the sweetness of it all. Our bedtime routine. Our happiness. The thought that it could possibly end was wrenching. I sobbed and professed all of my fears to Jon. It breaks my own heart to think of it now. Me, in a moment of sheer desperation. Clutching on to my sweet baby for dear life. I think she was laughing, smiling, giggling. I love that she can go on being happy no matter what. She's happy just that we're there, with her.

That night was a turning point for me. Jon confessed that he feared many of the same things, and that made me feel comforted.

I learned this simple lesson in a few short weeks: When you voice your fears, they dissipate.  Maybe I'd even heard this before, or been told that it was the answer, but didn't listen. Now it's so clear.

This morning I felt that fearlessness again. I was driving to work, listening to The Court Yard Hounds – The Dixie Chicks with no dixie, or, sans Natalie Maines – and was thinking about some things I wanted to write about today. Somehow I said to myself for the first time that I really am a writer, even a good writer, and that I'm not doubting myself anymore. It was like my chest swung open and angels flew in. I got goosebumps. I felt like a vice was lifted. Once and for all. A lifetime of hangups disappeared in an instant. Just like that.

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